Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
