glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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