It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
