There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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