so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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