It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
