three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize