He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
