Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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