I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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