I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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