how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
