Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I look better un-naked...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
