Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
