Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
