love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
