I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
