stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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