Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
