K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
worst night to have a conscience
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
