Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
