so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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