she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
