so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
