got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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