I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
