My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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