so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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