Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
