i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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