I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
