Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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