He kissed a someone with a penis
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
