nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
