hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
