why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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