Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
