kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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