The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
