Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
