I've blown a few things in my day
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
