This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
