I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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