He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dignity is for republicans.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize