my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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