I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
