i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
