i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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