in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
