I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
