I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
