i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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