I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You ruined the universe
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Will exercising make me less horny?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
