Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
