First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
