thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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