we're blogging at a bar
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I deserve this hangover.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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