I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
